


What's Left Unsaid

by FanGirl09



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Broken Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel in the Bunker, Crying Dean Winchester, Cuddling Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Has Nightmares, Dean Winchester Has Panic Attacks, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, POV Multiple, Panic Attacks, Protective Castiel, Scared Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 03:46:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13941918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanGirl09/pseuds/FanGirl09
Summary: Seconds tick away on the clock - it's nearing midnight. Dean milks the minutes he has left until he will inevitably have to head to bed, dreading the nightmares that plague him every single night. They're tearing him apart, breaking him down - that he knows full well. But the emotions they bring out, that's a different story altogether.





	What's Left Unsaid

Dean hates feeling needy. But he feels like that more and more lately as he wakes up petrified and shaking from nightmares. They come in all different forms. Sometimes he's back in hell, or fighting the hell hounds, being tortured. Sometimes he watches Mary burning on the ceiling or Sam throwing himself into the pit. And sometimes, it's Cas. Watching the angel die repeatedly in front of him until he wakes up in a panic. Unfortunately, that's the nightmare Dean has tonight.

Dean's eyes fly open and he struggles to breathe. _Cas!_ His minds screams. _Cas!_ Dean sucks in a breath, desperately heaving as the scenes replay in his mind.

_Angle blade through the heart, binding white light._

He blinks, sucking in a quick breath. 

_Human Cas gets hit by a car, Dean gets splattered with his blood._

"No..." Dean whispers.

_Cas is tortured in front of him, hears him scream as his wings are broken, left sobbing and nearly unconscious after being chopped up with an angel blade and being run through with the blade when he's left begging._

Dean's mind spins, body shaking like a leaf.

_Cas being brought to heaven, shown what he made of it after the leviathans. He's broken, shattered. His own angel blade is sent through his throat._

"Cas," Dean nearly sobs, pushing himself off of the bed in one swift motion.

Dean stumbles down the hallway, legs shaking bad enough that it's a wonder he doesn't end up on the floor. He's making a break for Cas's room, dreading that he might find it empty. Mind reeling over the nightmares, the possibilities... his breathing is now closer to hyperventilating. Finally, Dean reaches Cas's room. Without slowing down he pushes the door open, revealing a sleeping figure who is startled awake.

*

My eyes fly open and my body twists around, searching for the source of the banging noise that occurred just seconds before. Eyes scanning the room, they focus on a figure in the doorway. It's not tall enough to be Sam, but then again who else but Dean would walk into my room in the middle of the night. "Dean?" I mumble, groggily. When I get no response but a stare my eyes narrow, observing him in the dark. I can see him shaking from where he's standing, and his quick breathing suddenly becomes very apparent to me. I sit up on my bed, moving over to make room for him to sit. "Dean..." I say softer.

Dean practically runs over to me and takes the spot on my bed. I scoot closer to him and pull him into my arms.

"Cas," he chokes. His body shakes against mine, breathing turned from shallow and quick to slow and heaving. Dean clings to me. "Cas..." This time it's a sob.

I tighten my arms around him, rocking slightly. "You're okay, Dean. Nothing's happening..." I soothe.

"Cas..." Dean sobs again.

He had another nightmare... I can tell by the way he says my name. The sheer distress in his eyes and the way he clings to me... "I'm okay, Dean. I'm not going anywhere..." I rub his back gently, hoping that it will help him calm down.

"Y-you..." Dean chokes, gasping for breath through his tears. "You were dead! I watched... I watched you die! Cas... I-" Dean can no longer speak. The heart wrenching sobs that rack his chest are forceful enough to jerk both him and myself.

I hold Dean, shushing him and rubbing his back. "I'm here, Dean. I'm right here." Dean continues to cry, his face buried in my neck, the tears leaking down my shoulder. "It's okay Dean, shh, it's okay..." I've seen Dean cry before, seen him panic after nightmares, but never like this. I've never seen him break like this, especially over me... My heart hurts. 

Deciding to try a different approach, I pull Dean, who's starting to calm down more, to lay down with me. Dean lays in my arms with his head on my chest, and I pull the blankets up around us. As Dean's tears subside he falls into a very restless sleep, pulling me with him. An hour or so later I am pulled from my subconscious by someone screaming my name.

"Cas!" Dean screams in his sleep. "Cas!"

"Dean," I say in his ear. "It's not real, Dean. Wake up."

And soon enough, Dean's green eyes are open and overflowing with more tears. He sobs into my chest. I rub my thumb back and forth over the side of his face to calm him. "Shh, Dean. It's okay..." He starts to calm down again and I thumb some of the tears away that I can reach, just stroking my thumb over his cheek. "Shh, Dean. I love you. It's okay..." He still clings to me so I tighten my hold around him. Dean starts to relax in my arms so I bring one up to his head. My fingers brush through his hair gently and I press a kiss to the top of his head. "I love you, Dean. It's okay."

Dean starts to fall asleep in my arms again. His head lays on my chest still, listening subconsciously to my heartbeat and breathing. I smile softly down at him. "I will never leave, you, Dean. I promise."

His eyes flutter slightly but remains closed. Soon enough his breathing is even again and his shaking has stopped completely. "I love you, Dean" I whisper once more.

I don't get an answer, but that's okay. I already know. Sometimes the truth is in what's left unsaid. 

Dean loves me too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoyed that short fic! As I was writing this story I was imagining Dean not as he is most times, but how he would be after constantly being torn apart by watching Castiel die - very unstable and unable to hold it together any longer, just finally letting go when he can't take it anymore. With Cas there to comfort him of course :) Feedback is always welcome, so let me know your thoughts!


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